A Man With No Arms

Kent - July 14, 2022

A man with no arms went to a monastery to apply for a job as a bell ringer.

The monk told him but sir, you have no arms, how will you ring the bell?

The man said, " just lead me to the bell and I’ll show you."

So they walked up the long stairwell that led to the top of the belfry. Once at the top, the man walked over to the bell to get a good look at it. He then proceeded back up against the furthest wall and leapt into a sprint, face first into the bell.

He plummeted 65 feet below to his death. Tragically, no sound came from the bell.

When the police arrived an hour later, they asked the monk if he knew the man.

The monk simply said, “No. His face doesn’t ring a bell either.”

But wait, there’s more…

The next day another man with no arms showed up at the monastery and told the monk “Yesterday the man who died here was my brother. This was his lifelong dream. If it’s ok with you, I’d like to try just once for him.”

The monk certainly couldn’t refuse and slowly led the man up the long stairwell.

Once at the top the man walked over to the bell. He kissed the spot where his brother’s face hit the bell just a day before and walked back to the edge of the furthest wall.

The priest watched in horror as once again a man hurled himself face first towards the bell, but at the last minute the man tucked his chin, stopped at the last moment and slammed his head into the side of the bell.

The bell rang with the loudest clang the countryside had heard in years. In fact, it was so loud the man cried out in agonizing pain, lost his balance and fell to his death below.

Once again the police showed up, and once again asked the monk if he knew the man’s name to which the monk replied, “no, but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”

I’ll show myself out.

Good night

Older brother

Their older brother, who had arms, came up to the monk the next day and offered to fill the position of his unfortunate brothers.

Once again the monk led him up to the tower and showed him the bell and it’s rope, to which the brother refused and said “watch this.” He then spread his arms to their fullest extent and quickly brought his hands together into a thunderous clap. The sound resonated around the tower and surrounding village and resembled the peal of the bell almost perfectly. The monk hired him on the spot.

The brother had a very successful career and even went on to win the No-Bell Prize.

The son

Inspired by his father’s prestigious award, the man’s son felt that ringing that bell was a family tradition of which he must also partake.

The big day arrived, but the son was running late for his appointment with the monk. Speeding across the countryside, he was quickly approaching the village on the narrow, winding road. Trying to hurry, he took the final corner leading into the village much too fast.

The car wasn’t able to make the turn, and the car rolled and rolled and rolled, finally slamming into the side of the monastery. The man was killed instantly. To this day, that turn into the village is known as the Bell Curve.

Wrong monastery

Growing up, this man’s son heard tales about the untimely deaths of many of his male ancestors. He vowed that one day he would destroy the bell that had caused his family so much heart break.

When he was of age, the son loaded up a sack with provisions and bid goodbye to his mother. He walked for days before he reached monastery. He immediately demanded to be taken straight to the bell when a monk met him at the gate.

“Child, we have no bell here,” the monk said in confusion.

In fact, the son had gone to the wrong monastery. Turns out he was a dumbbell.


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